The worst part

you know everyone says breakups hurt, and they are right, but what no one ever mentions is the hurt that comes from the simple things. not only do you lose your best friend, but you also lose the people and the things that surrounded the two of you. Take for instance, the bed. This is the expensive part of the break up. does anyone know how expensive it is to redo a room just to make it liveable again? everything reminds you of the other person, so everything must go... major money.

And your mutual friends. they are forced to choose. how unfair is that? and the worst is when they dont choose you. So now you have lost your best friend and those surrounding you. what do you do then? who do you confide in about the loss? no one. and this causes tears. and they are hard to stop.

there is catharsis with release, but no one to catch you as you fall. you are left to fend for yourself and pick yourself up and start over. new friends, since yours turned out to be a matter of convience. New hang outs. Because if you are like me, you gave him everything, just like in the relationship, and now that its over, he still gets it all. New savings account, because you drained yours. New schedual becuase you were always on his.

in all honesty, not everyone is like this, i made my bed and i must now lay in it. i did everything above, and yes, he took my giving personality for granted, but i must learn to take care of myself and not everyone else. some day, someone will love me for exactly who i am, giving and all, but i wont be the only one giving, they will care enough to give back, making it a real relationship. One where there is give and take and not only me scraficing my needs and wants to make the other one happy with zero reciprication.

yes, one day things will be better, but for right now they are shit. I would like to be allowed to feel as such, and to vent to those who are still listening. Not always, but when needed. I vow not to be the wet blanket, but i do also assure you that i will at some point cry, and please let me. dont tell me to be strong of to grow up, thats not what i need. what i need is for you to listen when i need to talk. and please, take me out, help distract me, and for that, i will always promise to do the same for you. thank you.