The worst part

you know everyone says breakups hurt, and they are right, but what no one ever mentions is the hurt that comes from the simple things. not only do you lose your best friend, but you also lose the people and the things that surrounded the two of you. Take for instance, the bed. This is the expensive part of the break up. does anyone know how expensive it is to redo a room just to make it liveable again? everything reminds you of the other person, so everything must go... major money.

And your mutual friends. they are forced to choose. how unfair is that? and the worst is when they dont choose you. So now you have lost your best friend and those surrounding you. what do you do then? who do you confide in about the loss? no one. and this causes tears. and they are hard to stop.

there is catharsis with release, but no one to catch you as you fall. you are left to fend for yourself and pick yourself up and start over. new friends, since yours turned out to be a matter of convience. New hang outs. Because if you are like me, you gave him everything, just like in the relationship, and now that its over, he still gets it all. New savings account, because you drained yours. New schedual becuase you were always on his.

in all honesty, not everyone is like this, i made my bed and i must now lay in it. i did everything above, and yes, he took my giving personality for granted, but i must learn to take care of myself and not everyone else. some day, someone will love me for exactly who i am, giving and all, but i wont be the only one giving, they will care enough to give back, making it a real relationship. One where there is give and take and not only me scraficing my needs and wants to make the other one happy with zero reciprication.

yes, one day things will be better, but for right now they are shit. I would like to be allowed to feel as such, and to vent to those who are still listening. Not always, but when needed. I vow not to be the wet blanket, but i do also assure you that i will at some point cry, and please let me. dont tell me to be strong of to grow up, thats not what i need. what i need is for you to listen when i need to talk. and please, take me out, help distract me, and for that, i will always promise to do the same for you. thank you.

girls are crazy guys are idiots

why do some girls have to ruin it for all of us? yes, as a member of the female population i myself am indeed crazy, but the fun kind i like to think, not the call the cops kind. take for example, a girl that calls 14 times in ten min. thats insane, not cute or quirky, INSANE! how about jumping out in front of your ex's car cause he is avoiding you? also insane, not to mention dangerous. maybe he is avoiding you because you broke up and are still calling 14 times in ten min, did you think of that wack job? i would hope that guys wouldnt think that we are all like this, but some of them do, because of girls like this. i dont have time to call you 14 times, nor do i have a death wish so i wont be jumping in front of any cars. if someone were to break up with me, of course i would be heartbroken, but that would not turn me into a stalker. in fact, the hurt would probably lead to me never wanting to see said guy again because it would make it worse. sadly, i think a lot more girls are like me rather than the stalker girl, but its those few who act like mental patients that stick in guys minds. yes, they are terrifying, but not all of us are that bad :)



so just remember guys, please dont put all us girls in the same boat, there are in fact degrees of crazy, you just have to find one that you can live with. actually, we have to do the same thing with you men. you are all idiots, but to different degrees. we have to find the level of idiocy that we can live with. as long as both sexes realize this about eachother, we should all make it out alive. oh and crazy girls, back off!

christmas cards

ok so i absolutely love getting christmas cards. everytime i go home for christmas break i like to look through the piles and piles of christmas cards on my family's kitchen counter. Half of the people i have never met nor heard of, but the endless amounts of fun that come from mocking the posed children in the annoymous pictures is no doubt the highlight of my day. Why do people think we care what their children look like? its really just a great time to mock the pretentous pricks with the fake snowflakes in the background and the awkward middle child with braces who is just coming into his own. in addition to that, why include a news letter? did i ask what johnny got on his 5th grade science test? no. did i care that you zip-lined with monkeys in costa rica? no. if i did, i would have asked, if in fact, i even knew who you were.

The worst part about all of this is that by the time out counter is totally covered with these incepid brag sheets, which never include the bad things that happen by the way, my father than starts to believe we need to send out a christmas card of our own. this, is where the problems starts. HE seems to believe that you have to send a christmas card to everyone who sent you one, and more, its just the "right thing to do" in his mind. Here is something you many not know about christmas: its in the winter, which means, i am fat and have no tan. also, i am not very photogenic to begin with and i dont own suitable clothing for cheesey christmas cards, nor do i have the money to buy any, or the true desire. My brother is never home, so scheduling this torment is a huge part of the pain. the dogs never sit still, neither my brother nor i ever manage to look good in the same frame so one of us is always upset, usually me, and then the addresses have to be deturmined and written out, which is at least a full days work. I dont even know half the people we send these cards too so im pretty sure they dont care what i look like in the least. my mom seems to be able to weasle out of the picture portion of this joyous event, but is then stuck licking endless amounts of stamps, since my father can never get the already sticky kind. picking out the card and actually putting them out is the main source of my dad's anoyance, which is interesting, since the whole thing is his idea every year. He even manages to look hurt when we dont want to participate.

this year i did everything online and superimpossed my brother an i on the same card, sent them to the photo shop and had them do everything except the dreaded stamping and addressing. however, i left town before the stamping and such began and left my father to his own devices and my poor family to flounder below his tyranny of assignments. am i a bad person? or just really really smart?