you know everyone says breakups hurt, and they are right, but what no one ever mentions is the hurt that comes from the simple things. not only do you lose your best friend, but you also lose the people and the things that surrounded the two of you. Take for instance, the bed. This is the expensive part of the break up. does anyone know how expensive it is to redo a room just to make it liveable again? everything reminds you of the other person, so everything must go... major money.
And your mutual friends. they are forced to choose. how unfair is that? and the worst is when they dont choose you. So now you have lost your best friend and those surrounding you. what do you do then? who do you confide in about the loss? no one. and this causes tears. and they are hard to stop.
there is catharsis with release, but no one to catch you as you fall. you are left to fend for yourself and pick yourself up and start over. new friends, since yours turned out to be a matter of convience. New hang outs. Because if you are like me, you gave him everything, just like in the relationship, and now that its over, he still gets it all. New savings account, because you drained yours. New schedual becuase you were always on his.
in all honesty, not everyone is like this, i made my bed and i must now lay in it. i did everything above, and yes, he took my giving personality for granted, but i must learn to take care of myself and not everyone else. some day, someone will love me for exactly who i am, giving and all, but i wont be the only one giving, they will care enough to give back, making it a real relationship. One where there is give and take and not only me scraficing my needs and wants to make the other one happy with zero reciprication.
yes, one day things will be better, but for right now they are shit. I would like to be allowed to feel as such, and to vent to those who are still listening. Not always, but when needed. I vow not to be the wet blanket, but i do also assure you that i will at some point cry, and please let me. dont tell me to be strong of to grow up, thats not what i need. what i need is for you to listen when i need to talk. and please, take me out, help distract me, and for that, i will always promise to do the same for you. thank you.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
girls are crazy guys are idiots
why do some girls have to ruin it for all of us? yes, as a member of the female population i myself am indeed crazy, but the fun kind i like to think, not the call the cops kind. take for example, a girl that calls 14 times in ten min. thats insane, not cute or quirky, INSANE! how about jumping out in front of your ex's car cause he is avoiding you? also insane, not to mention dangerous. maybe he is avoiding you because you broke up and are still calling 14 times in ten min, did you think of that wack job? i would hope that guys wouldnt think that we are all like this, but some of them do, because of girls like this. i dont have time to call you 14 times, nor do i have a death wish so i wont be jumping in front of any cars. if someone were to break up with me, of course i would be heartbroken, but that would not turn me into a stalker. in fact, the hurt would probably lead to me never wanting to see said guy again because it would make it worse. sadly, i think a lot more girls are like me rather than the stalker girl, but its those few who act like mental patients that stick in guys minds. yes, they are terrifying, but not all of us are that bad :)
so just remember guys, please dont put all us girls in the same boat, there are in fact degrees of crazy, you just have to find one that you can live with. actually, we have to do the same thing with you men. you are all idiots, but to different degrees. we have to find the level of idiocy that we can live with. as long as both sexes realize this about eachother, we should all make it out alive. oh and crazy girls, back off!
so just remember guys, please dont put all us girls in the same boat, there are in fact degrees of crazy, you just have to find one that you can live with. actually, we have to do the same thing with you men. you are all idiots, but to different degrees. we have to find the level of idiocy that we can live with. as long as both sexes realize this about eachother, we should all make it out alive. oh and crazy girls, back off!
Monday, January 18, 2010
christmas cards
ok so i absolutely love getting christmas cards. everytime i go home for christmas break i like to look through the piles and piles of christmas cards on my family's kitchen counter. Half of the people i have never met nor heard of, but the endless amounts of fun that come from mocking the posed children in the annoymous pictures is no doubt the highlight of my day. Why do people think we care what their children look like? its really just a great time to mock the pretentous pricks with the fake snowflakes in the background and the awkward middle child with braces who is just coming into his own. in addition to that, why include a news letter? did i ask what johnny got on his 5th grade science test? no. did i care that you zip-lined with monkeys in costa rica? no. if i did, i would have asked, if in fact, i even knew who you were.
The worst part about all of this is that by the time out counter is totally covered with these incepid brag sheets, which never include the bad things that happen by the way, my father than starts to believe we need to send out a christmas card of our own. this, is where the problems starts. HE seems to believe that you have to send a christmas card to everyone who sent you one, and more, its just the "right thing to do" in his mind. Here is something you many not know about christmas: its in the winter, which means, i am fat and have no tan. also, i am not very photogenic to begin with and i dont own suitable clothing for cheesey christmas cards, nor do i have the money to buy any, or the true desire. My brother is never home, so scheduling this torment is a huge part of the pain. the dogs never sit still, neither my brother nor i ever manage to look good in the same frame so one of us is always upset, usually me, and then the addresses have to be deturmined and written out, which is at least a full days work. I dont even know half the people we send these cards too so im pretty sure they dont care what i look like in the least. my mom seems to be able to weasle out of the picture portion of this joyous event, but is then stuck licking endless amounts of stamps, since my father can never get the already sticky kind. picking out the card and actually putting them out is the main source of my dad's anoyance, which is interesting, since the whole thing is his idea every year. He even manages to look hurt when we dont want to participate.
this year i did everything online and superimpossed my brother an i on the same card, sent them to the photo shop and had them do everything except the dreaded stamping and addressing. however, i left town before the stamping and such began and left my father to his own devices and my poor family to flounder below his tyranny of assignments. am i a bad person? or just really really smart?
The worst part about all of this is that by the time out counter is totally covered with these incepid brag sheets, which never include the bad things that happen by the way, my father than starts to believe we need to send out a christmas card of our own. this, is where the problems starts. HE seems to believe that you have to send a christmas card to everyone who sent you one, and more, its just the "right thing to do" in his mind. Here is something you many not know about christmas: its in the winter, which means, i am fat and have no tan. also, i am not very photogenic to begin with and i dont own suitable clothing for cheesey christmas cards, nor do i have the money to buy any, or the true desire. My brother is never home, so scheduling this torment is a huge part of the pain. the dogs never sit still, neither my brother nor i ever manage to look good in the same frame so one of us is always upset, usually me, and then the addresses have to be deturmined and written out, which is at least a full days work. I dont even know half the people we send these cards too so im pretty sure they dont care what i look like in the least. my mom seems to be able to weasle out of the picture portion of this joyous event, but is then stuck licking endless amounts of stamps, since my father can never get the already sticky kind. picking out the card and actually putting them out is the main source of my dad's anoyance, which is interesting, since the whole thing is his idea every year. He even manages to look hurt when we dont want to participate.
this year i did everything online and superimpossed my brother an i on the same card, sent them to the photo shop and had them do everything except the dreaded stamping and addressing. however, i left town before the stamping and such began and left my father to his own devices and my poor family to flounder below his tyranny of assignments. am i a bad person? or just really really smart?
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Food and Bev
It should be a requirement in life to work in the service industry! i am sick and tired of bartending and having some fancy lawyer come to the bar and talk to me like im a damn idiot. I went to college, im still going to school, and im persuing a PHD (even though i cant spell), so talking to me in a really loud slow voice is really just going to piss me off. i know how to make a martini, i also know how to use an electrophotometer, so there!
just a note to all of you who have not had the pleasure to serve others: snapping, waving your glass, and shouting my name is not neccessary for a refill, in fact, now i will probably ignore you on purpose. If i am not paying attention to you at that exact moment, it probably means i am speaking to another guest and you need to wait your damn turn. You will not die if your martini takes 5 seconds longer, you are not the most important person there, and to me, you are now the least.
Lastly, where tips are concerned: 20% is standard these days, more is better, but nothing less. If the kitchen makes a mistake, dont take it out on me. I didnt over cook your food, so dont act like you are dissapointed in my grilling skills. I know the economy is in the shitter, but im trying to pay my rent and my bills as well here. If you cant afford to tip, please stay home, i have no interest in wasting my time on you if you would rather buy another beer instead of leaving a tip. I dont care if you are a doctor or a movie star, i am a person too and i need to feed my dog
Moral of the story: dont fuck with the people who handle your food, its just not smart.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Weather
Ok so it november here in charleston, and its 72 degrees here. Now dont get me wrong, i love this type of weather, its perfect for walking the dog and taking a bike ride, but can we try and stay consistant? a few days ago it was 50 degrees, and for those of you who dont know me, that is far too cold, especially since it was also raining! So, i got my jackets and sweaters out of the closets and got all set up for winter, and now its hot!
In addition to all of this, i truly believe that the weather people are out to get me. Its like they purposely telling me its all clear just so i will wear my fabulous suede italian shoes out and have it rain... are you kidding me?!?! Also, has anyone noticed that when they say its going to rain it doesnt? its like they want everyone to be too afraid of the rain to make a tea time so they can have the golf course all to themselves!!!
Again, i dont want there to be a confusion about much i love charleston weather, i just want a little consistancy on the weather front, and a little more honestly on the prediction of such weather. Charleston is great, its the only place i can think of where there are topless hot surfer guys in november and doctors that skateboard to work... but thats another story all together :)
Thursday, August 20, 2009
egos
who the hell do people think they are? i have never once walked into a place and assummed that i was better than anyone else. how can other people do this?
example one: buckhead moms. just because your husband bought you a bmw/mercedes/jaguar... does not mean that you are better than me. you do not deserve to go frist, you do not deserve to disobey the traffic laws, and just because you stick your 5karat diamond ring hand out the window and wave, does not mean i will let you go ahead of me in the traffic line. my honda and i deserve to get to the mall just as much as you do, maybe more, since that pair of shoes is the only one i can afford, whereas your over indulged ass can have any of the thousands of pairs on any other day.
example two: tall blonds. i dont care if you dated a member of hootie and the blowfish. that does not mean that you get to have that night off of work to see them with your new boyfriend. and for the record, the people in the crowd are not "regular people" they are the same as you. just cause you had sex with a so called "rock star," if you can even call him that, does not mean that he still knows your name or that you are special. you are probably one of a thousand that he "dated" and sleeping with someone does not make them your boyfriend. just because your vagina did not get you a backstage pass this time is not a reason to get depressed, or for that matter, to overcompensate by bragging about your conquests. i like my thursdays off!
next example: james beard award winners/bobby flay. congrats, you can cook. i enjoy that you enjoy your job, but do not let this go to your head. if i want a picture with you by the host of a party that we are both attending, suck it up, you got an invite, at least let them get a pic. if i come up to you to tell you that a mutal friend of ours says hi and i try to reintroduce myself in a totally appropriate time and place, dont blow me off. that doesnt make you cool. take your duck breast back, tuck your arm candy's breasts back in, and perhaps ask how a supposed friend of yours is doing. he is in rehab, thanks for asking. and eventhough you did not say hi back to our mutual aquantaince, i will say that you did, so there, asshole.
last example: trust fund babies. just because you have money does not mean that you are smart, that you are good looking, or that anything you have to say is worthwhile or funny, let alone entertaining. infact, did you even make up those jokes on your own or did you buy them? how much did your watch cost? i dont give a fuck! also, just because your parents got you into harvard, does not mean that you will do well or learn anything when your nanny does your work this time around. you will continue to be vapid. rich, but vapid. i would rather hear about how hard you worked to earn your promotion, than to hear that your grandfather died and gave you a cool ten million. ps- the girl laughing at your jokes and saying your hot, heard about the money, and does not care/know your name. dont marry her.
thats a lot huh? i hate entitled people. go fuck yourselves, because at the very least, you do indeed deserve just that.
example one: buckhead moms. just because your husband bought you a bmw/mercedes/jaguar... does not mean that you are better than me. you do not deserve to go frist, you do not deserve to disobey the traffic laws, and just because you stick your 5karat diamond ring hand out the window and wave, does not mean i will let you go ahead of me in the traffic line. my honda and i deserve to get to the mall just as much as you do, maybe more, since that pair of shoes is the only one i can afford, whereas your over indulged ass can have any of the thousands of pairs on any other day.
example two: tall blonds. i dont care if you dated a member of hootie and the blowfish. that does not mean that you get to have that night off of work to see them with your new boyfriend. and for the record, the people in the crowd are not "regular people" they are the same as you. just cause you had sex with a so called "rock star," if you can even call him that, does not mean that he still knows your name or that you are special. you are probably one of a thousand that he "dated" and sleeping with someone does not make them your boyfriend. just because your vagina did not get you a backstage pass this time is not a reason to get depressed, or for that matter, to overcompensate by bragging about your conquests. i like my thursdays off!
next example: james beard award winners/bobby flay. congrats, you can cook. i enjoy that you enjoy your job, but do not let this go to your head. if i want a picture with you by the host of a party that we are both attending, suck it up, you got an invite, at least let them get a pic. if i come up to you to tell you that a mutal friend of ours says hi and i try to reintroduce myself in a totally appropriate time and place, dont blow me off. that doesnt make you cool. take your duck breast back, tuck your arm candy's breasts back in, and perhaps ask how a supposed friend of yours is doing. he is in rehab, thanks for asking. and eventhough you did not say hi back to our mutual aquantaince, i will say that you did, so there, asshole.
last example: trust fund babies. just because you have money does not mean that you are smart, that you are good looking, or that anything you have to say is worthwhile or funny, let alone entertaining. infact, did you even make up those jokes on your own or did you buy them? how much did your watch cost? i dont give a fuck! also, just because your parents got you into harvard, does not mean that you will do well or learn anything when your nanny does your work this time around. you will continue to be vapid. rich, but vapid. i would rather hear about how hard you worked to earn your promotion, than to hear that your grandfather died and gave you a cool ten million. ps- the girl laughing at your jokes and saying your hot, heard about the money, and does not care/know your name. dont marry her.
thats a lot huh? i hate entitled people. go fuck yourselves, because at the very least, you do indeed deserve just that.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
inconsiderate people
so if i tell you that im excited to have certain days off to go skydiving to my friends bachelorette party and you then ask off for those very same days right afterwards, before i get a chance to, you are automatically deemed inconsiderate and i shall shun you! so there!
ok so i wont shun you but i am very mad and i cant say anything cause then i look like a bitch, i think, or maybe you still do, but none the less, i am pissed!
ok so i wont shun you but i am very mad and i cant say anything cause then i look like a bitch, i think, or maybe you still do, but none the less, i am pissed!
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